Is J.K. Rowling Actually...?

The following is satire and should only be taken half seriously at best.

If you've been living under a rock, or are one the those who are smart enough to avoid social media, then you may not know there was recently a "scandal" involving boxers at the Paris Olympics and author J.K. Rowling. See, there is a boxer who has tested with higher levels of testosterone than normal, but was born with a vagina which is the normal benchmark that Rowling and her gang claim for being female. But this boxer won a fight after her more traditionally feminine appearing opponent quit. Rowling claimed the boxer was trans, and had an immediate chorus of people backing her up. When it was pointed out that the woman has in fact always had a vagina, they decided they needed to move their goalposts. Thus the argument became about chromosomes, looking "too masculine", and being good in an area normally dominated by men. 

I have been thinking on it, and while I am normally not in agreement on Rowling on these issues I thought it might be worth taking her point of view int consideration. Unfortunately we do not have access to hormone testing for most people, so we will just have to consider the latter two categories. So I began to consider areas in which men are usually dominant. It occurred to me that most best selling authors have been men. Claiming that you want to protect women while attacking and hurting them has also been a male area of expertise. While men often use physical power to bully and intimidate, they often also use money and position to do so. I began to think about so called "women who might fit this category, and it struck me almost immediately. J.K. Rowling herself is almost a perfect match!

But what about the other category. Sure Rowling may not exactly look manly, but she doesn't fit my idea of perfect femininity. Since that is sort of subjective, I decided to use my idea of model femininity to be the bar. It so happens that for me that model is Sofia Vergara. Now if you look at Rowling with her hard angular face and relatively flat chest next to Sofia as comparison, it fairly screams out in an Austin Powers voice "She's a man baby!" Since these are the benchmarks for womanhood that Rowling herself has helped to establish for womanhood, I can only assume that she will immediately agree with me, come out as trans, and since she hates trans women so much start to live her life as a cis man.

Now, at first blush this may seem counterintuitive with her hatred of trans people. But "she" would hardly be the first person to avert suspicion by accusing of others of the very behavior they themselves engage in. And self loathing is a well known phenomenon in the queer community. If you think about I'm sure you'll see how much sense this all makes.